The Pub of Cynical Alcoholics is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by czar casm with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 42.299 billion Alcoholics enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Education, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scotchistan. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Cynically Alcoholic economy, worth an astonishing 13,980 trillion corpses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 330,514 corpses, with the richest citizens earning 8.3 times as much as the poorest.

The comic book series 'Czar casm and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller, students are explicitly allowed to write answers on their forearms before exams, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and it's said that an Alcoholic always pays his debts with significant compounding. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cynical Alcoholics's national animal is the pink elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

Cynical Alcoholics is ranked 290,503^rd in the world and 192^nd in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 28.63 law-abiding acts per hour.